Not exactly to do with my travels, but it effects it, and this is also my only place to rant so you have no choice but to read my rant about my crappy lungs (yes, I am aware you could simply close the browser window, but in my mind you absolutely must read what I write if you've made the effort to come here, hahahaha).
Since I failed the dive medical I've had to try really hard to not let it get me down. Its not just the diving that sucks - I'm still going to both Ningaloo Reef and the Great Barrier Reef, and the snorkeling will be absolutely breaktaking, so no huge deal. But once I sit and think about it, I realize the things my shitty lungs have already effected for me, and wonder what the fuck else is going to happen.
Here's the lowdown on my lungs and respiratory system:
I've pretty much always had some time of issue with my throat/lungs/breathing, now that I really think about it. Beginning around age 12-13, I consistently had strep throat/tonsilittis about every two months, before my tonsils were finally removed at age 14. I also began smoking at age 11, and was a half pack-pack a day smoker up until about 19. At nineteen I quit smoking, and at 23 I started working out on a fairy regular basis, and during this time I don't recall much of an issue. However, I always had problems running/jogging. In elementary school I remember crying in the washrooms during Canada Fitness days and such, because they'd make us run - and my face would get beet red, and I could barely breathe seconds into the run. I'd always just act then like I was too cool for running, and chose to walk instead. But really it's because I couldn't. In my mid-late 20s, I started jogging, on my own time, and eventually began to enjoy it. To love it actually. Some of my best memories of Ottawa are about waking up in my apartment near Lebreton Flats and jumping right into my running shoes, and waking up by jogging along the canal while the sun was rising and the ducks were just waking up. Then I got bronchitis. And it didn't go away. This was in 2009. I was so sick that year I stopped working out completely because it hurt so much, and I even had to cut a trip to NYC short because I was so sick. I would finally get better, only to get sick again about a month later. It was brutal. And I'd just go back to the doctor, who would give me the same spiel about 'if it gets worse again, come back', basically just ignoring me that I'd been barely able to breathe for months. I'd say it was about six months before that finally got out of my system. But since then, even though it's been about a year and a half, i've never felt I've had my full lung functions back. I still work out, but for only about half the time and half the intensity that I used to. I just can't do it anymore. I kept hoping if I just pushed myself it would come back, then in January this year I got sicker than I'd ever been before. I got pneumonia, which basically kept me bedridden unable to breathe for about a month. It was so bad the morning I finally pulled myself out of bed and into the cab to the doctor that I was crying in pain when they were making me do that breathing into a tube test (which is what made me fail the dive medical. You have to blow for six seconds, and hit a 75 minimum. I couldn't get past 4 and my scores ranged from 48-65).
So honestly, I wasn't surprised to fail the dive medical. It's actually not even a legal requirement here in Australia any longer, but I chose to do it anyway, and I'm glad I did, as diving with lungs like mine could actually kill me. Scary. But thats what makes me say WHAT THE FUCK. Even when I started smoking again about a year ago, I never smoked much. And I quit smoking back in December! Now I'm letting myself be stupid, I currently have a pack of cigarettes in my purse and know I'll be smoking again as soon as I crack a beer later today. What if my lungs get worse? What if end up not being able to hike up mountains, or rock climb, or do all of these other things I want to do? I never expected this. It's frustrating too because it's caused me to gain weight, because I can't exercise as I used to. Grrrrr.
No comments:
Post a Comment