Fort Lauderdale (yes, again)

Yes, I was just here a few weeks ago.  And somehow, I'm lucky enough to be here again.  Ahhhh the hardships of dating an American businessman...always getting to tag along on business trips.

Not that today consisted of much 'business'.  Inside now after spending hours basking in the beautiful, hot sun.  And the water... oh my.  I have to say, this is one of the best, if not actually THE best, beach I've ever been to.  The water is WARM.  Apparently it's always like that.  And as soon as you walk in, it gets deep.  Walk in a few feet, and you can barely touch the ground.  Just enough waves to make it entertaining, but not enough to make you nervous (and I get nervous.  Especially after being left to drown by my snorkelling team in Exmouth, Western Australia last year. I don't think I'll ever get over that).

I hate resorts, but am admittedly falling for this 'resort hotel' deal.  The luxuries of most resorts without being stuck on it all the time; and without the shitty all-inclusive deals where they pad you full of weak drinks and meager buffets.  Here, you are on the beach; there are tons of restaurants and bars in the hotel; but you are also IN the city, not on some remote area where you have to pay a tour bus a hundred bux to get you anywhere.  So, you can lay on the beach if you choose, or you can head out.  I like it.  More than I thought I would, which is actually a nice surprise.  Turns out I'm not *just* a backpacking addict; I could kind of get used to these lazy sunny days.

It has been almost two years since I went to Central America and realized what my true love in life was: travelling (Well, one of my loves.  I also love cats. And cupcakes.  And something else that starts with 'c', but I'll keep this PG for now).

When I got back from Central America, I was so in love with travelling I saved my ass off and took myself to Australia for six weeks. And since then, I haven't left North America.  Wtf?

My man takes me to the States pretty much all the time now, and not to sound ungrateful, but it's not 'travelling'.  He takes me to fancy hotels, and we eat out at restaurants all the time, all possible amenities provided for.  No adventure, no uncertainty. Lots of fun, yes, but.  I miss the uncertainty.

Not to say I've been lacking adventure completely - when A and I did our east coast trip, we decided as we went along where/what we were doing; we turned my car into a bed for three; and we saw things that rival what I saw in Belize, and Australia, for most gorgeous scenery ever.

But I want to get out of my own again.  I want to do my southeast Asia trip.  Me and my backpack.  I want to go somewhere foreign.  Where I'm challenged, every day, to socialize, adapt, and survive.  Life here in North America is pretty damned easy,  no matter where you turn.

This past year I kept trying to recover from my robbery, and couldn't.  And other things happened which changed my life, in very hard ways, and made it difficult to leave.  When you keep losing friends, it's hard to pick up and run off on the ones that are still here.

But I'm still here.  And part of who I am is having to run off from time to time.  It's the biggest reason I do the job I do: I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want.  I have a good income.  So why the hell haven't I left?  Hmmmmmm.